Planning for the end of life for yourself or loved ones can feel like a lot of hard work. However, it’s critical to everyone’s well-being, says a recent article from The New York Times, “How to Help Your Aging Loved Ones Plan for the Future.” Yes, it will involve difficult conversations and a fair number of documents. However, when it’s done, everyone will be prepared for whatever comes next.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to estate and long-term care planning. However, there are certain universal considerations. Everyone needs a will, which designates who inherits assets and who will care for young children and pets upon death.
Some people use living trusts to hold and distribute property. Trusts offer more control than passing assets through wills. A trust can be used to ensure young adults don’t have access to large sums of money. There are costs associated with setting up a trust. However, the control it offers makes it worthwhile for most families.
Trying to set up an estate plan without an experienced estate planning attorney from your state or the state where aging family members live can lead to more problems than it solves. For one thing, estate law varies by state, so what works in New York won’t necessarily be valid in Florida. An attorney who handles real estate or family law won’t be familiar with the nuances involved in preparing an estate plan, so work with an attorney in this practice area.
You’ll also want a power of attorney. This document lets someone else make financial decisions on your behalf. The POA becomes effective immediately upon signing and remains in effect if the person becomes incapacitated. If you go with a “springing” power of attorney, it only goes into effect when certain conditions are met, such as when a person becomes medically incapacitated. You’ll need to find out exactly what conditions need to be met for the springing POA to be effective.
Make sure beneficiaries listed on documents, such as life insurance policies, retirement accounts and payable-on-death bank accounts, are up to date. More than one ex-spouse has received a windfall when their own ex failed to change beneficiary designations. These documents are not negotiable, and most courts will not reverse the designation.
Everyone should also have an advance health care directive, a legal document that clarifies wishes regarding end-of-life decisions. Depending on the state, there may be more than one document: a health care proxy, a living will and a do-not-resuscitate order. The documents differ from state to state. This another reason to work with an estate planning attorney in the correct state.
The health care proxy names a person who can make medical decisions when the person is incapacitated. A living will states end-of-life instructions, including whether the person wants artificial nutrition, hydration, or life support. The DNR tells health professionals not to perform CPR if the person is having a heart attack.
You’ll also want to talk about long-term care planning and whether loved ones can afford nursing home care themselves or will need to apply for Medicaid. Government benefits for long-term care can be confusing, and an attorney will be very helpful in navigating the system.
These are not pleasant conversations. However, doing as much preparation in advance as possible can make life’s challenges less stressful for all concerned.
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Reference: The New York Times (April 13, 2026) “How to Help Your Aging Loved Ones Plan for the Future.”